Friday, September 18, 2009

Courage to Change

I don't have much time to post today, and my coworker is being loud on the phone so I'm doing this quickly...

Reach into my backpack where I have probably 3 Al-Anon books. Grab one at random and it is "Courage to Change" and go to today's page. The last part is a quote by James Barrie, but when I searched the internet I found 2 different versions. Here is one:

“God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.”

Rectorial address, May 3, 1922, St. Andrew’s University, Scotland

And the one in the book is "God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December."

Either one is good. Having lost my grandmother and buried her last Friday, I am still feeling sad a bit. Relations with my mother and my brother are strained now too. My husband thinks this is the time to detach from my mother now that my grandmother and grandfather are gone. I'm reluctant to let her go completely. It saddens me that my daughter will not have a grandmother like the one I had, but no matter what I do my mother will never be as her mother was. To continue a relationship with my mother or not is a big elephant in my room right now, and ultimately I am to some degree powerless over what happens because I cannot control my mother either. I just need to turn it over to my Higher Power and see what happens next.

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