Expectations

Once upon a time, in a lifetime or two or three ago... once long ago, I had an acquaintance, a friend of a friend... this acquaintance was quite smart, but also dull. A monotone voice that could remember and quote from a great number of sources, but this acquaintance just seemed "flat". I guess that's the best way to describe him. Our mutual friend told me once in hushed tones that the flatness was because of a certain prescription that the acquaintance was taking.

Flash forward to now, many lifetimes and many years later. My husband has just been given a prescription for that certain prescription. When he gave me the news, while I was driving, I listened and outwardly gave no sign of fear. Inwardly though I am cringing, and I know that's wrong. I have a fear, an expectation, that he is going to have the same reaction to this prescription. I am worried that he too will be "flat" and boring. I know that my fears are irrational though, and I am doing my best to let them go. I have to Let Go and Let God guide us through this journey, and just because I knew someone, not closely, long, long ago who might have possibly had this reaction to this medication does not mean my husband will too. I know this. I do, I really do.

It's a medication with some stigma attached to it so there is also some secrecy involved, some shame, but we don't call it that, do we? No. I say I am being discreet and respectful of his privacy. It's up to him to tell who he wants to tell, and not my news to share. So when someone asks I say "Everything is fine. He's doing well, and losing weight." That is true. It's not the whole truth, but it is true as far as I've said it and it is all that anyone needs to know unless he volunteers to tell them more.

It's been a rough week. I think my daughter and I are both looking forward to some "down time" this weekend. We will probably get it too. A quiet weekend ahead of us, and then the next weekend will be busy. Or so I expect.  :-)