Let Go and Let God

The weekend didn't go exactly as planned. It started off okay, but on Sunday my husband wasn't feeling well. He had some medication, but he refused to take it. This led us to a trip to the emergency room. 5 hours later and he was finally released. No heart attack, probably an anxiety attack, and this isn't the first time. It wasn't easy to spend 5 hours with our daughter waiting for him, checking in hourly for an update. On Monday morning I was still feeling drained.
I decided not to go to work. I knew this would upset my husband though so I didn't tell him until after I had dropped him off at work and called myself in. I nearly made it to an Al-Anon meeting that I knew was happening at noon, but I was fearful. I was afraid that I would be so immersed in my non-Alanon crisis that it wouldn't be good for me to be at that meeting. I know that I need to be applying my Alanon tools to my husband's medical problems, but I wasn't sure how. I needed some advice. I decided that the best way to use my day would be to get caught up on the bills, the grocery shopping, and some other things that I needed to do for me. I needed to get some things off of my list. After stopping at the doctor's office I went to a cafe for a coffee and breakfast. I emailed my husband that I wasn't at work, and tried to relax for a little while. Unfortunately the news that I wasn't at work upset my husband a great deal, and I ended up having to pack up my computer and coffee and go outside to talk to him on the phone. More crisis. Stupid soap opera. In the end I did everything I could during the course of the day to help him and help myself. Then I picked up my daughter at preschool a little early, and read her some stories, and held her in my lap. When I came into work today I didn't explain my illness and I don't think anyone will pry. On Friday afternoon or Monday I may be ready to reveal more, but it's not over yet. I need to be patient and see what happens next. For now I am letting go and letting god. I did all that I could do on Sunday and Monday for my husband, my child, and myself. Now it is God's hands, the doctor's hands, and up to my husband himself. I can do no more.