The light at the end of the tunnel

We finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel on Wednesday night or Thursday morning. With the subfloor in place, and the tub in place our house began to feel whole again. On Thursday I did the floor, not perfectly I admit. On Thursday night my husband fixed some of my mistakes but let others stay. A reminder to us someday that this project was done by us, humans, not perfect, just learning as we go.

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Tomorrow morning we will leave the hotel. I think we are all homesick by now, and rather looking forward to it. I'm not looking forward to the mess of home, but I am looking forward to having a kitchen and a yard again. It will be nice not to have to plan an activity and a restaurant every night. As much as I like swimming every day, I am ready for a break.

Image by Sarah and Jason via Flickr

When we get home we will need to finish the tub and the toilet. Hopefully the child will cooperate. Then we'll go do some fun things that we want to do. I'll let the husband hang with his friends, and I'll take the child to a small-town fair probably. The tub will dry. Eventually we'll need groceries, a shower curtain, and a few other things. Eventually it will get done.

In the meantime life goes on. My mother has left messages on the home machine which I have not returned. I figure I don't need to since I'm not home and not really hearing them. I'm just getting the news from my husband. Also a visit to my doctor's office this week told me that the "tests came back fine". They can't find anything wrong with me, but if I want to see a specialist for the pain a referral is available. What to do?

For this weekend I plan to just go with the flow. I'm looking forward to pajamas on a Sunday morning, maybe with coffee and pancakes. On Sunday I don't want to have to be anywhere or have anything planned.  :-)

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I'm tired

I'm tired today on so many levels. I did a 2.5 mile walk yesterday, which wouldn't have been so bad except that I was pulling a wagon the whole way. It was nice to have a beautiful fall day to be outside, especially after the rain on Friday and Saturday, but I'm tired. I'm tired of work hassles. I'm tired of being the mother of a 3 1/2 year old. I'm tired of trying to figure out how to juggle my parents- my father who is avoiding me, and my mother who I am trying to avoid. I'm just done today. My husband understands this I think. He is done too. We'd both love some retail therapy and a short vacation from being parents, but it's not going to happen.

I need to find a way to recharge, to be a better daughter, better mother, better worker, better mother, and better friend. I'm too tired to find the cure though. I'm just that done.