Still here

Well I held my ground on Thanksgiving and it worked out. My mom wasn't pleased exactly, but we accomplished our mission, covered all our bases and my daughter had a good time. So yay for that. On Saturday my husband cooked another Thanksgiving meal for just the 3 of us.

Now Christmas is coming. I've just chatted with my brother. He is on the outs not only with our mother, but also his father and step-mother as well. It's not easy being him, and I respect that. I still have a bag of clothes that belong to him in my closet and they aren't going anywhere. He's unemployed, homeless, and can't really see his kids that well because he can't stand who they are living with I guess.

For Christmas I offered my mother Christmas Eve. A very generous offer. She didn't turn it down exactly, but she hung up the phone to go cry because she wanted Christmas afternoon instead. I don't want to give her Christmas afternoon. That's time for us to see my father, and I don't want to do them both at once. When I see both my parents at once I don't get to see my dad because my mom monopolizes everything. It's terrible. So we'll see if she comes around for Christmas Eve. The offer is still there. I haven't even confirmed with my dad about Christmas afternoon. I know he is worried about his mother, and we're not sure if she'll still be with us by then. Just taking things one day at a time, and hoping for the best I guess. I should probably get up to the nursing home and see her again. When I saw her in the hospital she didn't recognize me. Maybe now she will.

Oh well. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm still here. Breathing, taking it one step at a time. Trying not to have expectations, and trying to let go.