Situation is still quite serious

For a long time I couldn't figure out how to get back to Tari. Today I finally figured it out. I'm thinking of a project where I would give out an email address to strangers but I need to create a new email address before I take action on that plan.

Meanwhile my mother's belongings are in a 5 x 10 storage unit somewhere in Daytona Beach. She's in a hotel room with her 2 cats and no where to go. Her cousin is paying for her room for just a little longer in hopes that something will change soon. I am asking friends and family for leads on where she might be able to go.

It's a bad situation. I am pulling at my Al-Anon coping skills heavily right now. I didn't cause this and I can't control it. It's not my fault she's in this mess and I have a right to keep myself and my family safe.

To say it's not easy is an understatement. Depending on what happens in the next few weeks this blog may go in a different direction. I'm still thinking things through and watching and waiting. It's crazy that my own mother is homeless now. Just crazy.

mom still homeless

Words from Florida are not good ones. The apartment that my mom thought she was going to get turned out to be really small and crappy and they said she couldn't afford to live there anyway. Now there is a possibility that she will get into a senior living building in Ormond Beach which is a few miles north of where she thought she was going to go. In the new place she won't have her own laundry facilities which is a bummer. She didn't have them in her old place but she thought she was going to get it in Daytona Beach and her friend had bought her a washer and dryer. As of right now she's in a LaQuinta hotel until who knows when. On Friday her cousin is going to help her move her stuff into a storage unit and return the moving truck since no one knows when she'll have an apartment again. I'm not sure for how long her cousin can pay the hotel bill. I imagine at some point I'll have to take that over. I'm not happy about that of course. I have other things to spend money on but we'll do it if we have to I suppose. I'm just hoping it doesn't come to that.

I'm trying to keep family expenses down because I know we have big expenses coming up. Everything is such a mess. I'm trying to be positive. Everyone around me is falling apart and I'm falling apart on the inside but somehow I'm supposed to be the strong one right now. It's crazy.

The shoe is slipping

You may notice that the url for this blog is
http://waitingfortheothershoetofall.blogspot.com/

read that again... waiting for the other shoe to fall  ...

right now it's slipping. Imagine if you will a high heeled shoe or a sandal and it's starting to slide off.

That's where we are now.

She's still in Florida. She decided to move across the state even though she didn't have the money to do it. She borrowed. She gave notice on where she was that she'd be out. She hadn't been accepted into the place that she wanted to move into. She just had faith that it would all work out.

As I write this she's in a hotel with a moving truck parked out front. Her 2 cats are probably in her hotel room with her. She borrowed more money. It's not mine. She's hoping that tomorrow she'll be able to move into the place that she wants.

She can't go to a homeless shelter because she's on oxygen and needs a power supply for that. Plus she has 2 cats that she doesn't want to let go of. She doesn't have a car. All of her possessions are in that moving truck right now and she's got no where to go.

We're holding our breath. Her cousin is helping her for a few days but I'm not sure for how long. They don't get along great but her cousin has compassion. They are family after all.

She did this. It's her choice. I can't fix it. I didn't cause it. I still love her but this is her mess. Damn that's hard. If she gets housing and gets stable then I'll go see her at the end of June, as I planned to do. I'm not running down there any sooner. There's nothing I can do anyway. If this doesn't work out I don't know what's going to happen. The not knowing is a killer. You can see the labels that I am giving this post. There's a lot going on in my head right now. A lot of things that don't have words.

No one wants to be homeless. No one wants to be addicted. No one wants to be sick. These aren't things that anyone wishes on themselves or others and yet here we are.

I see the homeless in my community standing in the traffic median with a cardboard sign asking for money. Will this be her in Florida in a month? I don't know. I think if that becomes her she will die because oxygen tanks and homelessness don't mix.

Here we are.

Waiting.