My neighbor died

My neighbor died of cancer last week. She was only 35 years old. She left behind a husband and two children still in elementary school. She fought the battle for 13 long months and died on Monday, March 18th.

I was thinking this morning on my way to work about how her death hits me on an Al-Anon level. So many things to think about. The topic of ABANDONMENT was front and center. I don't think I can write about those things yet in a way that will be understood by you all. I'm afraid I would sound selfish if I tried.

During her illness I mediated about Letting Go and Letting God, and Letting Go of Expectations. Also thought about Minding my own business. Haha... really, her illness was hers, not mine. I couldn't fix it. I thought about those 3 Cs quite a bit too. My husband was good for reminding me of those. Fear, detachment, guilt, attitude of Gratitude.

Still, there is it is. So many lessons to be learned, and so many memories she left behind for all who knew her.

Love while you can. We don't know what will be tomorrow, a month from now, or next year.

Patience

I am a lefty. On February 16th I broke my elbow and messed up my wrist, on my left arm. So typing is hard right now. I can't eat left-handed, can't brush my own hair, can't do a lot of things I want to do. It is two more long weeks before I go back to the doctor to see if I will be rollerskating with my daughter in time for her birthday. I have to let go of my expectations on that one I know. It is hard. I am hopeful but I cannot know what will be said.

In the meantime I am practicing all those things I need to practice. Let go.

Be well friends.