It's all about the boundaries folks

I haven't posted lately in part because I don't have anything good to say. My mother has been pushing, pushing hard to keep me away. She is selling off her stuff because she needs money to move at the end of April. A week or so ago she told me NOT to come to her tag sale. She started a huge fight with me on the phone while I was at work (I had called her to see if she needed more boxes). Then she called my house and left a NASTY message on my answering machine. So glad my daughter didn't hear that one! Sheesh.. I wanted to call her back so badly, I literally stood looking at the phone holding my hands behind my back. I just stared at that phone and let the voices in my head sound off. But I didn't pick up the phone. I kept my Al-Anon going and I knew that making that phone call would not be NICE. It would not improve anything and it was not necessary. I left the phone alone. She hasn't called me since. Now our birthdays are here. She sent me a card and some cash. Hmm... an expensive card for someone claiming to be broke, and why did she send cash?? I plan to deliver her card on Saturday (her birthday is Sunday). I will return the cash she gave me in her card and I'm also going to give her some girl scout cookies. Nothing fancy. No taking her out for a meal or for ice cream. Just going to drop off the card. She may or may not be having her indoor tag sale again this weekend. If she is then she'll be home and dropping off the stuff will be easy. If she's out then I'll just leave it in the mailbox.

However I'm not using the birthdays as a "all is better now" thing. Just because she sent me a card and a gift does not mean all is forgiven for her rotten behavior on the phone concerning the tag sale. I understand that she is probably selling stuff I don't want her to sell and she doesn't want me to see her doing that. It's her stuff she can do what she wants. I am being respectful by not going to the tag sale. I am respecting her boundaries there. However it's too bad that she has chosen to be this way, and it's too bad she was so mean and nasty to me on the phone.

I feel badly for my daughter. She is getting cheated out of good grandmothers. My father's girlfriend helps sometimes but she has 5 other grandchildren of her own. She doesn't really need a step-grandchild very much. Oh well.. now I'm rambling.

Boundaries... and the serenity prayer are keeping me going these days and I'm still working that stuff every day.

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