Yesterday I didn't post. I could list a few reasons why. I was too busy, I had my flu shot, I was tired. etc etc. etc... but doing the 10th step reminds me to be honest with myself. When I do a personal inventory I see the real reason why I didn't post. I was lazy. Let me change that. I AM lazy sometimes. I can be very motivated to get projects done etc, and I frequently have "a list" that drives my husband crazy, but sometimes I am just lazy. I'm behind on paying bills, not because my grandmother died, but because I'm lazy. My house is a mess, not because my husband and my daughter are slobs, but because I'm lazy. I didn't post yesterday because I'm lazy. And that's the truth.
Now I have to contact the various companies we owe money to for things like electricity and heating oil and tv service and make sure that they don't stop providing those things. I actually already called the heating oil people and I said "I'm sorry, I forgot to pay, but I'm sending you a check right now for what I missed last month and what I owe for October even though I haven't gotten the October bill yet." They were okay with that. I didn't lie, I didn't try to cover up. I just admitted that I didn't pay the bill and was trying to make amends.
I'm not perfect though. I also had some paperwork for my husband's ambulance ride. I told him that I'd take care of it, and I didn't. I found the form today and left it on his desk. I didn't know he would be on break when I got there. He called me and said "I thought you took care of this already." I admitted that I hadn't, and I didn't want to. I wanted him to do it, and he will because I'm not giving him much of a choice, but it was irresponsible of me to take on something, not do it, and then give it back to him. I'll apologize to him when I see him at 5pm.
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